2013年4月13日 星期六

problems&responses

P:Change the title"Video games v.s College Students" because it can't tell the topic of your news clearly.
R:I will change the title to"Bad influences about video games? College Students:" Not Really.""

P:The numbers in it are too big, they will
R:I will

P:Maybe you should put the picture's link on it?
R:The picture is from the database of pictures in Microsoft Word, so I'll just put "Microsoft"below.

P:In paragraph 5&6, "From the data above, we can know that..."followed by "Actually, video games sometimes can release..." is a little strange.
R:I will add a sentence between to mention the advantages of the video games to connect the two paragraphs.

P:Delete "So, to college students, video games are some kind of dualistic."(Use Jill's dialogue as a kind of summery.)
R:Yes, I accept that.


Interesting lead / Headline / Summary
The summary is not good enough
Who / When / What / Where / How
ˇ/ˇ/ˇ/?/ˇ
Interesting level
3~4
Other materials
Pictures, survey
Angle
Not very obvious